Ritsuka's Servants groupchat

[virtualsystem]

[let's beat up an old man]

Comments

[fujimaru]

Yes but
I'm not that special????
People generally don't flirt with me ever???

[ Somewhere in the middle distance: a line of people who have tried to flirt with Ritsuka and failed due to not recognizing how bad she is at this. ]

[starcinoma]

You singlehandedly put me back together after a god detonated me.

[fujimaru]

Because we're friends

[starcinoma]

So everyone that couldn't put their friends back together after a god blew them up is even less special than you, right?

[fujimaru]

It's not even really my power though
And anyone who had it would do that for their friends, right?

[ She 100% believes that. It's just luck, not anything special about her. ]

[starcinoma]

Can I go to your room for a bit?
I'm not flirting. I just

I want to talk to you about something

[fujimaru]

[ ...? ]

Sure. Just knock when you get there.

[virtualsystem]

IF YOU TWO ARE FLIRTING I WANNA TOO

[fujimaru]

No one is flirting with me

[virtualsystem]

are you sure

[fujimaru]

Absolutely

[virtualsystem]

okay but if she starts flirting i'd better not get left out.

[fujimaru]

She was already flirting with you??

[virtualsystem]

I WANNA FLIRT WITH YOU TOO STUPID

[fujimaru]

[ Please imagine her pointing at herself, because of course she does. ]

Um
But no one else is, so it's fine?

[virtualsystem]

Ritsuka.
Have you considered that you might just be kind of dumb about this.

[fujimaru]

No???

[virtualsystem]

I think you should consider it.

[fujimaru]

OK??

[ Listen. There are a lot of things Ritsuka is good at, and could be considered clever about, even when it comes to relations with other people.

Recognizing flirting or interest is not one of them. ]

[virtualsystem]

In my estimation and analysis as a super AI, far above humanity, with processing and computational power beyond anything an organic mind can comprehend
I can say with 99.99999% certainty
Every person in this group chat wants to flirt with you.

[fujimaru]

[ Ritsuka is typing...

Ritsuka is typing...

Ritsuka is typing...

Ritsuka is typing...

Ritsuka is typing...

Ritsuka is typing... ]

Since when????????????

[virtualsystem]

SINCE THE START.

[fujimaru]

Is this actually for real-real????????

[virtualsystem]

YES
SERVANTS SOUND OFF IF YOU ARE FLIRTING WITH RITSUKA

[phothawgraphy]

I thought we'd been flirting ever since we met.
And then we had sex and all that stuff...